List:  Reasons/Excuses why i never came back.

1.    My socks got stolen by aliens
2.    Taco cat fell from the sky.
3.    Had to clean my room.
4.    Golden Gate Bridge was on fire.
5.    Needed to replace the batteries in my smoke detector.
6.    My nose was bleeding nacho cheese.
7.    #Murica
8.    It started raining caramel apples.
9.    My car exploded.
10.  The Twinkies just stop flowing
11.  Some ass just cut me off on the free way, so I road RAGED and now hes dead and I'm now in prison.....................so sorry, I cant make it to your birthday party this year.  Maybe your 78th, or 107th..........if you life that long.